Archive for category Zombie Apocalypse

Pontypool (2009)

I went into this one knowing nothing about it. I’d say that’s the case for 90% of my movie going experience. So, I was looking through my stacks of movies and ran across this one. I’d forgotten I’d had it. The name was a little weak… what the hell is Pontypool? Hell, I don’t know, do you? So I looked at it and it turns out it’s about Canadian Zombies. Go figure.

Now, I’ve got nothing against Canadians, in fact I bet they are pretty cool people to hang out with. But Canadian Zombies? That’s an easy win. There’s an odd thing about this one though. You don’t see a single shuffler until you’re almost half way through the movie. It’s pretty damn suspenseful for a Zombie flick. Usually you get some cheap scares here and there… but this one really builds up the fear.

It’s a group of people at a radio station doing what they do. Talking.

That’s what this movie boils down to, talking. I get it. I got it. If you watch this, you’ll get it to. If you don’t, you’re one of them.

I'm Thinking Dammit!

I'm Thinking Dammit!

The radio host (stealing the show) is none other than Stephen McHattie. He plays Grant Mazzy, a fading radio host who lost his big show and is now forced to work in Pontypool. He also wears a cowboy hat. Now, I may not be up to date on everything that goes on in this world, but his situation sure does bare a striking resemblance to Don Imus.

Don Imus, if you may or may not recall, lost his radio show for using a few choice words that he probably would have been better off not saying. Grant Mazzy is no doubt in the same boat. He starts his radio show off with a bit of controversy in a town of 65,000 people. He’s gone from millions of listeners to a paltry 65,000. It’s all he has left.

Now, I don’t think for a minute this movie is really going after Don Imus specifically. No, I think the movie is going after all the idiots who don’t think before they speak. They allow their words to soak in without an real thought of consequences. They make a few quick remarks off the cuff and the less than take it as the word of god.

I’d like to say it was terribly refreshing for the first half. It was a bold way to do a horror movie. They report the horrible happenings that are going on throughout the town but are unable to see any of it. All we know are bits an pieces and can only guess as to what is really happening. I kept seeing myself in that same position, thinking, “I’m getting the hell out of this two-bit town!” but our heroes stayed. And they reported. I was honestly worried about the outcome of their lives.

Then… the second half starts and it gets just a bit… preachy. Being from Texas, I think I know a thing or two about that. No matter how conservative or liberal you are… it’s just born within you. You grow up with it and you die with it. I need to escape with a movie, not relive my day. It’s probably not a failing of the movie itself, more of a failing of me to look passed it. I kept thinking to myself, “Are they talking about America? Well why the hell are they bagging America!!!” They may, or may not have been…

You Talk to Much

You Talk to Much

At any rate, it’s a bit odd to talk about a movie with Zombies but really not have much to say about the Zombies in this film. I’d say that’s a damn successful Zombie film. Really, there’s just not much to say about them at all. They were sort of there but had very little meaning to the movie itself. I know there’s some big movie term for that, but I can’t recall it.

I’d also like to point out the Zombies are actually “Conversationalists.” Direct from the Director. That’s a Canadian film for you though.

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Zombie, the Impossible Profession.

Hell of the Living Dead

Hell of the Living Dead


My friends, hear me out.

As we all wait for the Zombie Apocalypse, we must understand that it is not a sustainable society. Why, you ask?

There is one thing that has always bothered me about our dream. One Achilles heal to our great society. It is never touched upon in our cinema. It is glossed over to further the story, for you see… if they showed the truth, the story would be nothing. We would not have 2 hours of gore and blood, it would simply end with only a handful of deaths.

But why? Why would the great plan not work? Simply put, a Zombie eats it prey. There would be nothing left, a Zombie does not get full.

There are some possibilities here. For example, if a Zombie were to start eating but was then quickly killed, it would infect what it has not finished. But a Zombie in a vacuum of safety would not be able to contain itself. It would simply eat everything. Its belly would burst but it would continue to eat.

Of course there are differing theories. The dead are infected by mutagens, bites, airborne chemicals, society or all of the above. Everyone has a different take on the catalyst but they all come to the same conclusion, Zombies eat people. Whether it be the flesh or the brain, they eat and consume all manner of hominid. There’s a similar species found on this planet, we call it a locust. Locust destroy every plant in their path.

Rambo Makeup

Rambo Makeup

In the wake of a Zombie attack, I urge all Zombies to take heed these words and go on a diet. Take a bite or two but do not gorge yourself. Let the others see the light of day. We are strength in numbers. But one Zombi can not do it alone.

And finally, this is the most important thing. DO NOT LET THE HUMANS BREAK THAT GLASS!

The Enemy

The Enemy

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